I am a Global Warrior – Lola Fayemi
Lola Fayemi is a leadership coach & consultant and workshop facilitator who helps people to lead with more authority and authenticity in all areas of their life.
After successful careers in recruitment and coaching, she now helps other changemakers to get out of their own way so they can create the lasting impact they were born to make.
Through 1-2-1 coaching and workshops, she helps clients identify and release patterns that keep them stuck so they are free to live life on their own terms.
When she’s not out there transforming lives, systems and cultures, you’ll find her spending time with her son, Phoenix, or indulging in her other passion – Cuban salsa dancing! www.bossassliving.com
When were you at your happiest?
There are two times when I have been at my happiest.
There was the day my son was born. A beautiful day – the 11th July in fact the whole of July is such a special month. That was pure Joy. Babies are really special and bring out the best in everyone. I was really surprised, taken aback and moved about the outpouring of love we were surrounded with. Little did I know that that was going to change everything. The mother side of me opened up – not just for him, but for everything and everybody.
The second time is right now. I feel genuinely my happiest, I feel on purpose. I feel surrounded by people who are routing for me and I feel ready. I feel everything that I have been working towards is coming to fruition. The stage is set – internally, externally. I turned 40 in January and I’m really looking forward to the next decade and half of my life.
The future is unwritten is the phrase that keeps coming to me at the moment and it dosen’t scare me. I feel like I am free, envigorated.
What is your greatest fear?
My greatest fear is of dying and leaving my son. Not because I’m scared of death. I actually like funerals – they are my favorite religious ceremony to go to because I completely understand their purpose. Funerals are so real, they focus us and remind us of whats important. But if I die I’m scared for my son and not having me around
What is your earliest memory?
My earliest memory is dancing to a Pat Benator record called Love is a Battlefield. Hearing it for the first time on Top of the Pops I felt the urge to rock out, to move, to feel free in my body.
Who do you most admire and why?
Oprah Winfrey by a long shot. I love her so much. I love her because she was the first person that I ever inspired me. Originally I started to watch her show because she would feature American artists and RNB bands that we didn’t have access to on mainstream UK TV. Then one day there was a special about her life – it was the first time I had heard a rags to riches story – which totally inspired me.
On so many levels she shouldn’t work – shes black, shes a woman, shes larger, she is from a poor background. There are so many boxes that she dosen’t tick but she dosen’t care. She really is a conscious leader. She is connected to something deeper in herself which gives her impact.
Her show influenced my whole career. I didn’t know what I wanted to be – but the psychologist at the end of the show who would give some commentary about the ideas discussed which influenced me to choose Psychology at University.
Oprah has continued to always taking it to the next level. I love everything she does in raising the consciousness of the planet. There is no other idol for me.
What is the quality that most irritates you about yourself?
I can be quite judgemental – to others and to myself. The self judgement is the worst and can be very sly.
I have got better about managing it and one tip I can share is to stay as present as possible. The trick is to catch that negative sly voice early on and embrace it – Then you have a choice on what you do with it. I can listen to my other positive voices to give their perspectives which diffuses the judgement.
Which books changed your life?
There are 3 books I would like to share.
The first one is by Louise Hay – You can heal your life. This was my first non-fiction self-help book that I ever read. It spoke directly to me – so this was a revelation in mind, body and spirit.
The second is The Energy of Money – Dr Maria Nemeth. Money was a real problem for me. I earned a lot of money very early on in my career which can get yourself into a whole load of problems with that. It was a game changing book and helped me understand that money is not only about financial management. Its very much about your relationship with money. If I had to recommend to anyone a book to heal that part of your life this is it. I constantly refer back to it. My dream is to be a philanthropist so I need to earn money to achieve that.
The last is a book I return to very often since I first read it ten years ago – and that is The Power of Now by Eckert Tolle – I have to give him a shout out.
What do you owe your parents?
I don’t think I will ever understand them.. but my job is to love them just the way they are. I owe them that they came to London from Nigeria and met our physical and educational needs, they made a very good choice of sending me to a really good secondary school which helped me to be comfortable and confident in a range of situations.
I also appreciate the sacrifices they made for me. They put me in a position where I was able to heal, fix, move through and navigate past the things that I inherited from them that don’t really work for me. We all have those things, and some people can’t move past those things but I was given the ability to break those cycles and help others to move past things – that’s a real gift and one I do not take for granted.
What does great leadership look like?
I see great leadership very rarely.
What is looks like? First and foremost great leaders have great self-leadership skills – I do not mean self-discipline or great will power – I mean leaders who are in command of themselves. They are not perfect and accept their imperfections. They are knowing of their strengths and skills. Great leadership is about self-knowledge and being able to get out of your own way. So for me I’m good at holding uncertainty and navigating that, however the flipside is that my teams might feel they need more structure and order. Knowing what those tendencies are, trying to manage them and leading from your core and the truth of who you are is something you can’t fake.
Leadership is not something you DO it is something that you ARE. If your intention is in service of and higher purpose …then I find things click into place and life has your back.
What was your worst job ever?
My last job in IT recruitment was awful. The company I worked for was so un-dynamic. However my assertions for myself were so low then that it reflected where I was back then.
What would you most like to change about modern day life?
I would love modern day life to be more diverse in the way people think. I am aware that the world has a very dominant perspective that is white, and male and straight and middle classed and right handed and able bodied. That is only one set of perspectives. When you differ from any of those perspectives society dosen’t work with you AND we are missing out on what other cultures and perspectives can bring. The way I remind myself of how this feels is in the context of being right handed. Most of the time it dosen’t cross my mind that the world dosen’t work for left handed people imagine what its like to be “different”.
If you met an alien from outer space, what would you tell them about the human race?
I would tell them that we an arrogant race who think we are a lot better that we are. We are a self destructive race. That’s the thing with the human race we are always comparing ourselves to be somewhere else – always looking for the next thing.
What area of life would you most like to see transformed by our conscious movement?
Relationships – the way we relate to each other as human beings. I feel like we have been taught something that’s not quite true and that’s why relationships it don’t work for everyone. I think relationships help us to grow. If we could upgrade our thinking it could transform our lives.
What is your dream for humanity?
We could take the brakes off of our evolution of consciousness and let ourselves evolve. In many ways we are comfortable with evolving in certain ways, for example with technology. I would love us to get just as excited about evolving our consciousness.
An outcome of our conscious revolution could be how we evolve our attitude to material possessions and the importance we place on the latest gizmo, the designer handbag and how we prioritise money for these “must haves” as opposed to live changing things.